The Ache.

As an oxymoron twenty-something, I am sad I live so far from family and childhood friends, but happy to live in a charming city by the beach. I am a hard-working, motivated “Type-A”… but my introverted nature lends me to soaking up countless hours of couch-time perusing Pinterest. I relish my singleness and ability to consider only my schedule, yet equally want that companion to share the sweetness of everyday life together.



Here’s my problem: I want it all

Here’s my real problem: I want it now.

Here’s my really real problem: I want it all, now.

Oprah, in all of her wisdom, says,


So maybe Oprah figured out the secret to unhappiness before me, but I get it now.

All of this spurred from my boo-hoo session(s) reading Sarah Bessey’s post on The Ache she feels when she writes about not having any more children.

Pause this blog and go read that post. Just come back, yeah?

When I read it, I felt that Ache…but a different Ache that sighed,

Will I get to gaze at my own milk-drunk baby in the wee hours of the night? Wash and fold itty-bitty tiny human clothes? Celebrate the joy of snow days?

I think Sarah nailed it when she defined “The Ache”: the Ache of time passing.

Just one of my Aches is the desire for a baby. I know a lot of other family and friends who have that same Ache. Others feel a different Ache.

Ache for a joyful marriage.

Ache for the disease to heal.

Ache for a rewarding job.

Ache for death to be reversed and to hold a loved one once again.

Ache for peace with body image.

What’s your Ache?


For most days, I don’t give too much attention to my (multiple) Ache(s). I think if I did, I would be clinically depressed…and I’ve been there—done that—no intention to go back! But ignoring the Ache isn’t the answer either.

I truly do not know how people live happy lives without Jesus. Life is hard, even under great conditions! I think the beauty of Jesus’ life is that it tells a story of shared suffering, of peace, and mostly, of pure love—the healing balm to that Ache.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; [Jesus came] come that [we] may have life, and have it abundantly.”

-John 10:10

There will always be an Ache in our lives…because we can’t have it all at once and we can’t control time, circumstances, or people. The great news is that we aren’t left alone to suffer in the Ache.

Inside the Ache is an invitation: to find God.

I truly believe God is already at the center of that Ache. A loving Creator knows our deepest desires, darkest thoughts, and greatest needs. When I shift perspective from my Ache to trusting God with my life, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness and goodness in the past. In fact, I’m  pretty blown away at God’s grace to guide and bestow so many undeserved blessings upon me. It’s  overwhelming when I think of all that I have to be grateful over.

So friends…

Let us be kind to one another.

Encourage and celebrate lavishly.

Show grace and unconditional love.

Because in the end, we share a common ground of deep Aches, no matter the specifics. Let us find God together and refuse to live in the Ache. The world needs us to show there’s a healing balm of faith, hope, and love that overflows.