S.A.D. to S.A.D.: A Few Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, Singleness, and Love

Last night (Feb. 13) I called my internet company to see if I could get a glitch fixed. While the internet guy and I waited for the system to reboot, he asked me, “Are you looking forward to Valentine’s Day tomorrow?” I kinda chuckled, mostly because I wasn’t expecting the question to come from the internet guy. I responded, “Heh, sure….” Then he asked if I was excited to be on the giving or receiving end of tomorrow. I wasn’t sure what he meant, since I believe a relationship stands on mutual ground, but I said, “Well, I’m not in a relationship but it’s a good day to celebrate love…love for God, family, friends, and life.”

He emphatically tells me, “Well that’s everyday! I believe Valentine’s Day is ONLY for a couple.” I simply responded, “I disagree.”

I’m not in a relationship this year, a typical occurrence on Valentine’s Day (with a few exceptions), but I’ve always been truly ok with being single. I am very ok with being single.

For the most part (Yes, I have my moments!), I’ve always believed singleness has been (and is) a true gift. (Are you rolling your eyes yet? J) I mean it! Honestly, I thought I would have been married at 22, and probably have my first kid by now. Shea at 19 wanted that. Shea at 25 praises God that is not her story! I need to say, I still want that, desperately…but in God’s timing for me! (For those dear friends of mine who do have families, I celebrate you and all that you get to experience. This homegirl will be calling you one day for some serious advice!)

My mom asked me a few months ago, “Is it hard to watch many of your friends get married and start families?” I told her, “Yes, at times, but I know I’ll have that one day. Right now, I get something precious only being single allows.”

When I moved to Charleston, I didn’t have to consult with my partner or see if his job would allow for a move. I didn’t have to worry about what school systems we’d move to or the overall wellbeing of our family in terms of a move. Nope. I simply had to consider myself. (And Eleanor…but she’s a trooper and I didn’t even have to ask if she would come with me. I just stuffed her into her cage and off we went!)

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This post really isn’t meant to tell you all of the reasons why I enjoy singleness or even tell you why I long for the companionship of a fellow, because both are equally true for me. I suppose I’m hoping someone out there reading who is celebrating S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) turns it to S.A.D.: Single Appreciation Day!

Going back to the internet guy. When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of “love.” Yes, it’s one of the most commercialized holidays of the year, but I’m not talking about that “definition” of love. I’m talking of the kind of pure love that is selfless, gentle, and kind; the type of love that is full of grace and beauty, trusting and always looks for the best.

This love I speak of has only been experienced perfectly from God and (not-so-perfectly-but-so-incredibly-beautiful) from my genuine relationships with family and friends. So, no internet guy, it doesn’t have to be about a significant other. I’m going to take this set-aside day to celebrate love, because I am truly and utterly surrounded by so much love that it makes me ache with gratitude. I adore those I call “loved ones” and I am giddy with how much I love my life. So Happy Valentine’s Day and cheers to this crazy, messy, and magnificent thing we try to understand–“love”.

“But for right now…we have three things to do to lead us towards [God]: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

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4 thoughts on “S.A.D. to S.A.D.: A Few Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, Singleness, and Love

  1. Shea, I have been struggling to write something that says what you say here for about a week and a half. Every time I start it doesn’t really come out the way I want it to.

    But I think that you have hit it out of the park here; summarized my feelings entirely. (Well except I am increasingly cynical about all the holidays, but that is a discussion for another time!)

    BTW, I don’t know if you read Rachel Held Evans blog, but when she was in town this week she mentioned that she is looking at having a week about singleness in the next month or so. Keep your eyes peeled. I think it will be great!

  2. There’s nothing left to say except; awesome, awesome, more awesome!! And that Eleanor can’t be real, she’s too adorable & perfect! Look at that little paw holding on.

  3. Enjoyed the blog, Shea. No worries in the love department, girl. That lucky guy is out there….and y’all will bless each other with love when the time is right.

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