I cannot say I have hated being unemployed. There have been many wonderfully relaxing days of exercise classes and lunches with friends, along with cleaning my home and cooking some new meals. OF COURSE… it’s been a stressful season of fighting feelings of inadequacy, questioning what job I actually want, wondering mostly how long this season will last.
I have a few great jobs I’ve applied for recently and am now waiting to hear back about interviews, second interviews, etc. I’m playing the waiting game. Have you been there before?
Last night, I told a friend that the stress of not knowing what my life will look like in six months is unnerving. I’ve always been able to imagine XY&Z, but all I know is that I have a dentist appointment Jan. 2, 2013. At least I know I’ll have clean teeth while still insured!
But this season is… a season of waiting. A few weeks I remember asking God, “What do you want from me?” I felt God asked the question back to me, “What do you want from me?” I immediately said, “Peace.” I heard silence. In my spirit I had the resolve to wait for it.
Last week I read the book of Habakkuk. It’s a short, three-chapter book nestled towards the end of the Old Testament. Habakkuk was a 7th century (bce) prophet who spoke directly to God on behalf of the Israelites. He gives voice to the people’s bewilderment and frustration about living under injustice.
In the begging of the second chapter, Habakkuk says, “I’ll wait to see what God says, how God will answer my complaint.” A verse later it says, “God answered…”
But I wonder how long it took God to answer? The bible doesn’t say if it was immediately, or a week, a few months, or even years. All it says is that God answered.
Later on in the same verse (2:3), Habakkuk talks about this response from God and says, “If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.” Some verses later (2:20), “But oh! God is in God’s holy Temple! Quiet everyone—a holy silence. Listen!”
I’m fascinated with Habakkuk’s response to waiting on God. He see’s that the waiting is temporary and the silence is holy.
The book never really has any conclusion on what God will do in response to Habakkuk…but that doesn’t seem to matter to Habakkuk. The last two verses in Chapter 3, Habakkuk essentially says, “Though things appear lifeless and on pause, I’m trusting God and in the waiting, I take heart and gain strength.”
The waiting is temporary. We aren’t told how long the waiting is, but God’s answer is on the way and will come at the right time. The silence is holy and there’s something to listening to the silence. And in the waiting, let us take heart and gain strength.
There’s a new Mumford & Sons song so fitting to this season of waiting. Ironically, it’s called, “I Will Wait.” My favorite part of the song says,
Now I’ll be bold, as well as strong, and use my head alongside my heart. So tame my flesh and fix my eyes, a tethered mind freed from the lies.
In the silence, there can be a lot of voices that whisper lies of insecurities. I’ve known the voice of God before and it is sweet. It is pure. It is love. It is peace.
So in the waiting, I’m going to be singing this new song to God…
Raise my hands, paint my spirit gold and bow my head, feel my heart slow. Cause I will wait–I will wait for you.