There’s nothing like rejection to remind myself that I am human—capable of being hurt, insecure, and get me questioning why I am not wanted.
Having relationships with family, significant others & friends, applying for jobs, and setting goals and not meeting them…well they all have a common risk of rejection. But that’s life. We cannot live in fear of rejection because if we did, we really wouldn’t’ be living. As long as we live, we are bound to experience it.
I think it’s what we do with it that matters.
I’ve applied for a few various jobs and the sting of each rejection letter doesn’t let up. My mom told me, “Shea, you cannot take it personally.” I responded, “How can I not?”
The reality of rejection can penetrate deep into our core.
I’ve read a lot lately about security. Beth Moore has a lot of good things to say about it and I find myself echoing her words in my head every time I see rejection trying to steal my peace and security.
She writes, “Unfortunately, it is possible to suffer the crushing rejection of a parent, a friend, an associate, a stepchild or child, a boyfriend, or a spouse even if it’s never admitted or addressed. No matter the source, the shout translates into the language of the soul as one jolting message: I do not want you! Here’s the even trickier part: nothing elicits quicker concurrence on our part than feeling rejected.”
We believe the lies… “I’m not worth wanting. I’m not worth loving. I’m not even worth liking. I’m not worth pursuing. I’m not worth fighting for. I’m not worth keeping. I’m not worth hiring. I’m not even worth noticing.”
Seems pretty toxic to me. Sure, there is a place for being disappointed when rejection smacks us in the face (over and over again). It is healthy to acknowledge the pain of it—but it is certainly unhealthy to let it shape our identity.
In exactly one week, I’ll be another year old and no longer a student. Unless I get a job within the next week, I won’t have a full-time job. So much uncertainty—so much change. “God uses change to change us. [Our Creator] doesn’t use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny.”
So in the thick of change, uncertainty, and waves of rejection, I know one thing: God is in control. When I responded to my mom, “How can I not take rejection personal?” she said to me, “You have to trust God.” And I do. God knows me better than I know myself. I’ll get the job that I am supposed to have and it will be one that God uses to continue to shape me into the person I am created to be. That’s more exciting than letting rejection get me down. Ya know?
I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. -Isaiah 41:9-10