Lord, don’t give me what I want.
I’ve been learning to pray that more.
Y’all, I’ve had a really good and blessed life. I was raised in a loving home, felt accepted and respected at my church and grade school, and have had some travel experiences that some people don’t have in their lifetime. I realize all of this is nothing less than a pure gift from God.
Of course, not every life is perfect without any unmet expectations or hardships (though I wish this weren’t the case!). Without going into detail, I’ve often asked God for different things (such as clarity for the future or even a relationship with different guys from the past) and haven’t gotten that magical “yes” I wanted but often a flat “no” or perhaps worse, many painstakingly long silences.
But it’s those times. Those times when I realize why something didn’t work out or why I didn’t get my way. Most of the time, it’s because God had something so much better planned for me. The Creator provides, and not just on a basic level, but creates, provides, and blesses beyond what I could have dreamt for myself.
The hard part is learning to wait in the silence (oh–and keep my mouth shut from complaining!). Why did I move here? Why am I doing this? Why did I not end up with him? What will the future hold?
“God’s delays aren’t God’s denies.” I have been dwelling on that phrase for a few weeks now (as well as a friend of mine—Hey Joy!) and am taking this to heart to keep trusting in my God to continue to show the faithfulness I’ve experienced so sweetly in my life. I’ve known God to provide in the past; sure enough I can trust my God for the future!
So my prayers have been turning into, “Lord, don’t give me what I want, but instead, what you want to give me.”
Friends, be encouraged along with me that our answers will come! And in the meantime, let’s keep hoping, keep trusting, and keep giving thanks.